Wednesday, March 28, 2007

caught off gaurd?

Just as I begin to think that I'll never find anyone that is interested in me when I am interested in them..... someone comes along. On New Year's Eve '06 I met a very nice guy. We partied and drank together, and when it was time to go to bed (at 8am!), we ended up sharing a large chair to sleep on. We cuddled and talked for a good 4 or 5 hours, and then got a couple hours of sleep. After we woke up, we cuddled some more, and then went upstairs to join everyone else and watch a James Bond movie (it was a james bond themed party). He left, I left, no numbers were exchanged. I was kind of bummed out by that honestly, because I thought that we had a connection. So about two days later, said boy finds me on facebook and sends me a friends request. We exchanged instant messenger screen names, and chatted every once in a while. No biggie....

Well, this boy, let's call him SS, goes to school about 6 hours away from our hometown. It came time for his spring break, and he sent me a message on facebook saying that he'd love to hang out. We talked about it on AIM for a bit, but he then realized that he couldn't come home because he had a lot of work to do on his senior project. He(finally!) asked for my number so we could chat since he wasn't coming home. So, we began talking on the phone. All of a sudden, taking us both completely off gaurd, we began talking for 5, 6 hours at a time, staying in touch through texts all day long, and really beginning to like each other. It seemed crazy because he was 6 hours away, but we didn't care. So this has been going on for about 2 weeks. I think that we have something really special. We are getting to know each other so well because we talk so much. And I have to say, I really really care about him. About a week ago, he said something along the lines of, "my friends are asking what the deal is with the two of us, and I don't really know what to say or what to call you." I laughed and said I was getting the same thing. A few hours later I get a text that says, "baby?" and I say, "yes?" and he says, "be mine?" So I say, "if you want me to be." Well then he called and we talked about it, and he told me that even though he's far away, he really wants to be together and make it work, and he'll be home in 6 weeks from school, and let's give it a try. so we are boyfriend/girlfriend now. Is it completely strange that I have a boyfriend that I've hung out with once but talk to probably more than a lot of people do in their relationships? I understand that it is odd, and some of my friends tell me that I'm crazy, but I really care for him. He doesn't play "the game" like all of the other guys that I've encountered lately. he tells me how he feels, tells me I'm beautiful, he's just a great guy. Plus, he's super smart (double major in two ridiculously intelligent subjects). and Friday afternoon I get a text from him that says, "I want to say the L word to you because I love what we have." And normally I would freak out over something like that, but I didnt'. At all. Maybe because I don't see it ending, and only getting better once he's home.

So this Saturday, we are meeting in a city halfway between us. We booked a hotel for the night, and we are going to go have a nice dinner, watch a movie, and cuddle. I'm so excited to see him. And with him, I don't have to worry about him getting the wrong idea about the fact that we are staying in a hotel together. he is respectful and sweet, and it is highly unlikely that there will be anything more than kissing going on. However, there will hopefully be LOTS AND LOTS of kissing!

I am super excited about this, and I really hope it goes well! Wish me luck!

Friday, March 16, 2007

how about a story?

I think I'm becoming one of those pessimistic daters. I've come to the point where I don't expect anything to happen. It's probably because I've been disappointed so many times in the past. Ok, so I've had 2 serious relationships in my 24 years.

The first:
We'll call him "Mr. Athlete" (I'll call him this because he played college football. By the way, I really do enjoy these made-up names!). Mr. Athlete and I were set up by my best friend during my sophomore year at college. He and my Best Friend had worked together over summers for a few years. He came over one night to watch a movie, and we hit it off, and were pretty much dating right after that. You will come to see that both of my LTR's happened very quickly. Anyway, we were together for a little over 2 years. He was a great guy, treated me well all the time, never wanted to fight. There were times when I was tempted to just start a fight because every time a disagreement would come up, he would say something like, "I'm sorry, I love you, let's not fight." Not that I want (or wanted at that point) someone who fought with me. I just don't think there is anything wrong with a little heated disagreement every once in a while. Well, Mr. Athlete was head over heels in love with me. And after about 2 years, I started to get that nagging feeling in the back of my head. Ya know, the one that whispers "he's not the one" during conversations about our future. Bad sign? Indeed. I just honestly couldn't see myself marrying him and having kids with him. So I broke it off. He was very torn up, and I still feel bad about breaking his big macho heart. Ya know how I knew that I made the right decision and never regretted it?I never cried. I missed his company, but I didn't feel that break in my heart. But Karma's a bitch, and I would eventually get my heart broken in two. That leads to....

The Second:
We'll call him "Ex J" ... Ex J and I met on.....myspace. That's right. Myspace. Although I never told anyone except for my friends this, and certainly never told my family. They thought we met at a bar. I guess that is somehow better! So anyway, Ex J lived on the same side of town that I lived on, and so we would randomly send each other messages every once in a while about a pub crawl we'd heard about, etc. We had exchanged instant messenger names, but these conversations were few and far between. One day, out of the blue, he IM's me and we ended up talking for a while, when he asked for my phone number. I give it to him, he calls, and we talk for about 4 hours. He asked me on a date during that first phone conversation. We continued to talk on the phone every night that week, and went on our date that Saturday night. We went to a movie, then he decided to join my friends and me at a bar for a going away party for a college friend. Since we both had been drinking, he stayed at my house. From that night on, we were inseperable. Within a week, we were staying at each other's houses every night, and within three weeks, he took me to meet his parents. Things were great, I was the happiest I had ever been. He said that he hadn't been so happy in a very long time. He and his ex had broken up a few months earlier after a 6 and a half year relationship.(red flag? now I know this) . Well I guess his ex found out that we were serious, and she began to call and text constantly saying how she missed him and still loved him, blah blah. Meanwhile, she had a new boyfriend. I, being a good girlfriend, let this go because he told me that I had nothing to worry about, he was with me and he wanted to be with me. Until one night when he hit me with "I'm confused." Oh well great! So basically we went back and forth for about a month of him saying he just needed to talk to her and figure things out, but he still wanted to be with me. This went on for about 2 months, and finally I told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I loved him, but I couldn't sit around and be second best anymore, and wait for his ex to decide if she wanted him back. Because that's basically, in a nutshell, what was happening. Even if he didn't see it that way. so we broke up, continued to act like boyfriend/girlfriend for another couple of weeks and then finally stopped seeing each other. He told me that he just needed some time to figure out who he was a single person since he had been in such a long relationship with her and then jumped into one with me. But he said that I was "the one" and to wait for him. So, as a love-struck idiot, I did. And about 2 weeks later, my best friend and I see him at a restaurant with a girl. Hmmm. He knows we are there, calls me the next day and says that he has a new girlfriend. After that, I cried for approximately 3 months. It's been a year and a few months, and I am finally completely over it. I guess I never really believed that your heart could physically hurt until then. Ya know, I thought I was done looking. I thought that I had found the one that I was going to marry, have children with, and spend the rest of my life with. It's a pretty big smack in the face to realize that you are back to square one.

And so begins a string of many first dates, many bad first dates, lots of frustration, and lots of confusion.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Hello

So I've been browsing some Blogger sites as I pretend to work, and became slightly enfatuated with "anonymous blogging." So I thought I'd give it a try.

I think the main reason I'm trying out this blog is because I'd like to get other people besides my friends' opinions on things.

Ok, so a little bit about me....
I'm 24 and live in Ohio. Single. And I guess you could say "looking." I work and go to school, and try to find time for some dating.

That's all for now, but I hope to get some readers on here! So stay tuned!